When your prayers go unanswered....
I've struggled multiple times in life wondering why...why God wont answer my prayers. I've questioned, do my prayers line up with biblical truth..check...they are about more than self...check. But still no matter how many tears, how loud, or how soft I prayed it still hasn't come to pass. When you pray for years and years begging, pleading with God there are moments where you question your own relationship with God. In my experience people that once were standing with me begin to wonder....does she have hidden sin in her life...why isn't God answering her prayers? When people begin to question your heart and mind, it can be a gut check to make sure you are aligned, or you have the choice to get offended. I wont lie, there have been moments in the past that I did get really hurt, now I take it as a gut check...am I good with God? yes, ok, well God knows my heart so it doesn't matter what other people think or feel. in my experience in ALL situations God reveals truth to those who are close to Him.
When God hasn't answered our prayers for years there are moments when we question this Christian life. Is God truly there, or is this just a big circus? Whenever I have had moments of these questions coming into my mind I have to take a moment to pause, put on worship music and praise. The moments I don't feel like praising God, are the moments that I need to praise God the most. In the pain, the screaming, the crying, the ugly moments between you, the walls, the floor, and God. I cry out to Him, show me you are real, show me a tangible example of truth, that you hear me, you see me! And He does.
People don't know how to act around you when you have prayed for years for the same sob story that hasn't changed or has gotten worse. The, "I'm praying for you girl", gets old and then they see you nod or smile and then pass without a word. Before you know it, they don't even do that. In my experience people don't want to be surrounded by "negative" situations. "If you have negative situation in your life you must be toxic and well I just cant be around that", I've heard pastors preach on this and also people say this. I find the opposite to be true most of the time.
When your prayers aren't answered, you lost your friends, you are sitting feeling defeated and drained of all the energy you poured into others, only for them to leave you just like your dad, your step dad, and just about everyone in your life...take a moment to look up. I love the verse that says....I will never leave you nor forsake you." I've told God how mad I am, I've yelled, I've cried, I've hit the floor...I've even truthfully cursed at Him. At the end of my tantrums He always waits until I stop and smother me with His presence. Kari Jobe has a song....I find you on my knees....for me that is truth.
The first time I got on my knees I had felt prompted by the holy spirit, I was in a state of anger, shock, and just pure lost in my circumstances. I didn't feel God, I didn't understand how something so terrible could happen to me and now I need to pray to God? For what? He didn't rescue me, he didn't save me from this pain? But I did get on my knees...and I'm glad I did. It is truly an act of surrender when you are literally on the floor praying to the only one who is closer than a brother. In the moments when I'm frustrated with my circumstances now, I can look back and remember the times the pain was so incredible I didn't think that beyond that moment I would survive, but I did survive because God was with me all along guiding my every step. We can make it, even if all we have is God. Its just not fun and not easy. With God ALL things are possible, even the seemingly impossible things.
I've struggled multiple times in life wondering why...why God wont answer my prayers. I've questioned, do my prayers line up with biblical truth..check...they are about more than self...check. But still no matter how many tears, how loud, or how soft I prayed it still hasn't come to pass. When you pray for years and years begging, pleading with God there are moments where you question your own relationship with God. In my experience people that once were standing with me begin to wonder....does she have hidden sin in her life...why isn't God answering her prayers? When people begin to question your heart and mind, it can be a gut check to make sure you are aligned, or you have the choice to get offended. I wont lie, there have been moments in the past that I did get really hurt, now I take it as a gut check...am I good with God? yes, ok, well God knows my heart so it doesn't matter what other people think or feel. in my experience in ALL situations God reveals truth to those who are close to Him.
When God hasn't answered our prayers for years there are moments when we question this Christian life. Is God truly there, or is this just a big circus? Whenever I have had moments of these questions coming into my mind I have to take a moment to pause, put on worship music and praise. The moments I don't feel like praising God, are the moments that I need to praise God the most. In the pain, the screaming, the crying, the ugly moments between you, the walls, the floor, and God. I cry out to Him, show me you are real, show me a tangible example of truth, that you hear me, you see me! And He does.
People don't know how to act around you when you have prayed for years for the same sob story that hasn't changed or has gotten worse. The, "I'm praying for you girl", gets old and then they see you nod or smile and then pass without a word. Before you know it, they don't even do that. In my experience people don't want to be surrounded by "negative" situations. "If you have negative situation in your life you must be toxic and well I just cant be around that", I've heard pastors preach on this and also people say this. I find the opposite to be true most of the time.
When your prayers aren't answered, you lost your friends, you are sitting feeling defeated and drained of all the energy you poured into others, only for them to leave you just like your dad, your step dad, and just about everyone in your life...take a moment to look up. I love the verse that says....I will never leave you nor forsake you." I've told God how mad I am, I've yelled, I've cried, I've hit the floor...I've even truthfully cursed at Him. At the end of my tantrums He always waits until I stop and smother me with His presence. Kari Jobe has a song....I find you on my knees....for me that is truth.
The first time I got on my knees I had felt prompted by the holy spirit, I was in a state of anger, shock, and just pure lost in my circumstances. I didn't feel God, I didn't understand how something so terrible could happen to me and now I need to pray to God? For what? He didn't rescue me, he didn't save me from this pain? But I did get on my knees...and I'm glad I did. It is truly an act of surrender when you are literally on the floor praying to the only one who is closer than a brother. In the moments when I'm frustrated with my circumstances now, I can look back and remember the times the pain was so incredible I didn't think that beyond that moment I would survive, but I did survive because God was with me all along guiding my every step. We can make it, even if all we have is God. Its just not fun and not easy. With God ALL things are possible, even the seemingly impossible things.
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