Butterfly affect
It's true that words can hurt and pierce the very being of our souls but it's also true that sometimes its the words we don't say that impact a person more than we can ever know. Currently I am sitting in my infusion chair hooked up to my port and BP cuff covered in thin white hospital blankets still shivering while the medicine courses through my veins. I hear the beep...beep...beep...of the machines around me and those connected to others. I've learned how to secretly turn down the volume of the deafening beeps so that my brain stops vibrating to avoid the nails on a chalkboard sound. As I pause and just listen to the sounds around me I can feel the hustle and bustle of people's life. Every one of us go through moments in life when we wonder why something has happened or is happening to us. I am reminded that every day is a gift from God, one of the reasons it's called the present. Each moment we are in we have to intentionally be engaged in the present moment to feel every emotion possible to sometimes reach a point of realizing that life goes beyond us. Most people in life really do not care about how their actions or inaction affect someone else.
This morning trying to get myself showered, dressed, and ready to go turned out to be another day of using all my spoons to just start the day. If you haven't read the Spoon Theory please read it. To explain the current circumstances in a way of everyday ability most days I need physical help with simple tasks such as these. It's humiliating to admit at an early age you can't do it all like I could in the past. In previous years I went to school full time, worked full time and was raising two babies with little to no help. Sometimes people misinterpret someone's consistent challenges that they must be weak,lazy, or doing something out of the will of God. A lot of times life just happens...
Life can change in the blink of an eye, your health, death/life of a loved one, finances, job, car, house , friends, or as it did with us everything all at the same time. Again as I sit here I have choices. No I can't control the fact that I need this treatment to survive but I do have a choice how I treat the nurse, and other staff and how I think. Do I want to be here, no. Do I like living in and out of doctor's offices no...do most people understand and offer encouragement and help.,,,big no. But the select few that do give words of encouragement, help, life can completely help make your day. I don't ever forget to choose my words wisely.
I am blessed that the place I go for my treatments, most of the people are kind, friendly, always remember my name and smile every time they see me. They call me the jokester because most of the time I'm making them laugh and have my Olaf winter hat on because its an ice cube box in here even with a bunch of blankets. My lady volunteer always spends time with me for a few moments at least asking how I'm doing and tells me a story about her life. I love those moments! Older women and men have such insight in things. I am amazed at the giving spirit that the generation possesses.
Today many things were different and frustrating and I could choose to be stressed beyond words. Today my nurse is slower than molasses. This nurse is usually slower but today she is beyond the word slow...what's slower than slow? This seriously has inconvenienced us beyond comprehension. Not only is my medicine schedule, premeds, post meds etc disrupted but the time that I normally get out of here is going to be over an hour late all because one person. This one person then affects the lives of many not just me. The neighbor who agrees to get Riley off the bus to her house for a few minutes will turn into an hour, and then Brianna will not know where to go after school because I usually am not done that late. The neighbor's family may have to postpone their plans for the day affecting their dinner plans or other plans with friends because of this one thing. We will hit more traffic coming home, more lights, will take longer to get home putting us, especially me in an awkward position of getting home and getting a ride from someone always seems to be a challenge. So emotionally I want to be upset not for me but how it inconveniences others. What is going on in my nurse's life that she is so forgetful and slow that she can't keep up with the demands placed on her? Our life has so many "butterfly effects" I call it. One little breeze or wind and our lives touch so many others. Just like a splash the water continues to wave and hit wherever it can. So if I complain and choose to be nasty to her instead of giving her extra grace I can hurt her feelings, decrease her ability to concentrate, affect her mood which affects the rest of my day and the other patients she is caring for. Instead of pointing out how she has affected my whole day I choose to see the good in her, pick out her strength of being a compassionate person and say to her thank you for being such a caring nurse. I can see her smile and encouragement may just be the boost she needs to get little pep in her step! Who can you encourage today? Remember the power and butterfly affect of your words and actions....be in a pay it forward spirit! :)
This morning trying to get myself showered, dressed, and ready to go turned out to be another day of using all my spoons to just start the day. If you haven't read the Spoon Theory please read it. To explain the current circumstances in a way of everyday ability most days I need physical help with simple tasks such as these. It's humiliating to admit at an early age you can't do it all like I could in the past. In previous years I went to school full time, worked full time and was raising two babies with little to no help. Sometimes people misinterpret someone's consistent challenges that they must be weak,lazy, or doing something out of the will of God. A lot of times life just happens...
Life can change in the blink of an eye, your health, death/life of a loved one, finances, job, car, house , friends, or as it did with us everything all at the same time. Again as I sit here I have choices. No I can't control the fact that I need this treatment to survive but I do have a choice how I treat the nurse, and other staff and how I think. Do I want to be here, no. Do I like living in and out of doctor's offices no...do most people understand and offer encouragement and help.,,,big no. But the select few that do give words of encouragement, help, life can completely help make your day. I don't ever forget to choose my words wisely.
I am blessed that the place I go for my treatments, most of the people are kind, friendly, always remember my name and smile every time they see me. They call me the jokester because most of the time I'm making them laugh and have my Olaf winter hat on because its an ice cube box in here even with a bunch of blankets. My lady volunteer always spends time with me for a few moments at least asking how I'm doing and tells me a story about her life. I love those moments! Older women and men have such insight in things. I am amazed at the giving spirit that the generation possesses.
Today many things were different and frustrating and I could choose to be stressed beyond words. Today my nurse is slower than molasses. This nurse is usually slower but today she is beyond the word slow...what's slower than slow? This seriously has inconvenienced us beyond comprehension. Not only is my medicine schedule, premeds, post meds etc disrupted but the time that I normally get out of here is going to be over an hour late all because one person. This one person then affects the lives of many not just me. The neighbor who agrees to get Riley off the bus to her house for a few minutes will turn into an hour, and then Brianna will not know where to go after school because I usually am not done that late. The neighbor's family may have to postpone their plans for the day affecting their dinner plans or other plans with friends because of this one thing. We will hit more traffic coming home, more lights, will take longer to get home putting us, especially me in an awkward position of getting home and getting a ride from someone always seems to be a challenge. So emotionally I want to be upset not for me but how it inconveniences others. What is going on in my nurse's life that she is so forgetful and slow that she can't keep up with the demands placed on her? Our life has so many "butterfly effects" I call it. One little breeze or wind and our lives touch so many others. Just like a splash the water continues to wave and hit wherever it can. So if I complain and choose to be nasty to her instead of giving her extra grace I can hurt her feelings, decrease her ability to concentrate, affect her mood which affects the rest of my day and the other patients she is caring for. Instead of pointing out how she has affected my whole day I choose to see the good in her, pick out her strength of being a compassionate person and say to her thank you for being such a caring nurse. I can see her smile and encouragement may just be the boost she needs to get little pep in her step! Who can you encourage today? Remember the power and butterfly affect of your words and actions....be in a pay it forward spirit! :)
Proverbs 18:21
The power of the tongue is life and death— those who love to talk will eat what it produces.
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