The crucial test to save any relationship including friendship and marriage

Do you know what your love language is?

Focus on the Family has made it their mission to help marriages in ways not many others have found solid ground. Having been frustrated in long term relationships and then in my own marriage we sought out answers as to why we don't FEEL loved for years. Through counseling years ago, research and learning tools in our marriage we were able to pin point key reasons why we didnt show each other the love the way we interpret and need to be loved.

After taking The test I found out my two love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

I learned that although that was my way of feeling loved that is NOT how my husband feels loved. I believe all of them are important to a relationship but focusing our energy into how the other person feels loved will fill their void and help them to be able to overflow into ours as well. I feel loved when people do things for me and spend time with me. While most women love to receive gifts thats last on my love need. I do love and appreciate gifts and surprises but my need to feel most loved is when people do things and spend time with me. My husbands love language is words of affirmation. Early in our marriage I was constantly wondering why He never did anything to help me, or wanted to spend time with me and the kids. He never made an effort to just be there. I didnt feel loved or appreciated at all. He didnt feel loved because I wasnt praising him and telling him what I appreciate in him and encouraging the positives and strengths He possesses. I know now that He was doing what He knew to do and I was doing what I thought to do but neither was "good enough" for our marriage to whether the storms of life. Thankfully God saved our marriage and used us as a tool to help others who have struggled through the roughest seasons. Life is not easy, and marriage is certainly no where near the Cinderella Story as much as every little girl yearns for it to be. But with hard work and learning to love and appreciate the best in your friends and partner you can overcome anything thrown your way! 

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/