We are more than conquers and nothing and no one can take that away

I'm sitting here again at the infusion center contemplating God's work in and through us. There were many words birthed in my spirit this weekend but I couldn't pin point one thing that I wanted to talk about with God. Sometimes, I feel like saying,  Hello God... You know what I'm thinking so can we get through these valleys of pain and reach the mountain top already? I'm done here. Lord Ive been through so much but you have been the strength in my spirit to carry me through all of it, you have never left me.

God wants us to profess what it is we are believing God to do.  God is So for us He desires us to cling to His words by faith. If we are not being challenged, then what do you need faith for? Faith is the hope of things unseen, HOPE that there is something good that's going to come out of situations that seem impossible, crazy, or downright hell. Some of my friends are going through life changing seasons. We are starting yet another tough season but believing in His words that the best is yet to come. Some days we don't FEEL like  or see anything revealing the best is yet to come. I haven't gotten any good test results to insinuate that good is going to come anytime soon, in fact its been quite the opposite, but in life we have to remember that no matter what is going on in our life we are MORE than conquerors. Life can take us down to the ground such cases as; a lost job,a lost child, a lost family member, debilitating diseases, lost friendships, but one thing still remains God says we are more than conquerors.

 Romans 8: 37 explains No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us! 

36Just as it is written, "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED." 37But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In the pit when we are about to get slaughtered, when there  seems to be no way out, God says there is a way out through Him and only Him. There have been many times in my life when I didn't think I would make it through situations and I didn't even know how to begin. So many things I could write a story about... abuse, losing my job, marriage hits rock bottom, losing  friends when I needed them most, surgeries with no help, getting told I need a transplant, being told I need treatments forever, lost of loved ones, incurable debilitating diseases that took my freedom etc. but in all these situations there's only one answer and that was to cry out to God for His strength. I didn't have an army come rescue me in the middle of the battle. The world view might say that in my life I have lost far more than I have gained, but what I have gained far outweighs what someone could ever give me and that is the strength and knowledge of God and His peace that transcends any and all understanding. 

When we go through gut wrenching scenarios people all react differently. I've always been one to try to fix things myself. I've never wanted to be a burden on anyone but in turn I usually end up on a long lonely path wondering where I'm going. When I was told last year my heart failure had gotten to the point of talking about going on the transplant list I kept giving it to God, when I wanted to shut down. When I was told I would need a hysterectomy before I turned 30 I kept giving it to God, even when  I wanted to shut down. When my marriage hit rock bottom years ago I kept giving it to God daily,  even when I wanted to be done. When the illnesses attacked my body so much that I couldn't work and accomplish the dreams in my heart  I kept giving it to God, even when I wanted to shut down. When I was told my body probably wouldn't make it through the serious septic infection a few months ago my body had already checked out, but my spirit fought and Gods strength brought us through. My first response has always been to fight things on my own. What happens though is you end up on a road that's lonely and scary and you don't know where to go if you dont give it to God, even when you do its not easy, you have to keep giving it to him.

When you go through a serious situation of loss you can and need to have a moment to shut down and refocus, but make sure you refocus on whats most important, where does your strength come from? A lot of people find their strength in their family and friend relationships. If you have those close knit relationships then that is a great asset to have in your battle to refocusing on where do I go from here? The first and foremost source of strength should be God though. The good thing about finding your source from God is that you can cry, scream, yell, be mad, even curse and yet God is still there. Friends will come and go sometimes with the change of the wind, whoever is popular, or can give someone something,or if you aren't the latest and greatest then you may not be in their circle. Some people cant deal with "negative" situations that happen to other people but they want everyone there for them. For years this broke my heart, but now I let it go. I let it go because I know God will place the right people at the right time. 

Over the past years I've made new friends and had to distance myself from others. I asked God to reveal to me the people in my life who will speak life into our seemingly impossible situations, who we can be there together to encourage each other to celebrate the great seasons and through the seasons of loss and confusion be there to comfort and love. We all need friends who will remind us that YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUER and when you feel like giving up they wont let you. Its a sad feeling when you cant go places and people don't offer rides or offer to come over and your adult conversations exist between you and a team of doctors with negative reports. 
This is when I found out my Best friend has to be GOD. 

When you go through loss you go through stages of denial, isolation, anger, depression, finally acceptance. Some may have some other stages along the way but ultimately eventually we come to a place where we stop fighting the past and have to look to the future and not the what if future but the future right in front of us with the unknowns and new territory, a new chapter never written in our life. Some people spend years on the same hamster wheel trying to fix the past, trying to change what happened but what happened has happened and you can only ask God to pick you up where you are and show you new dreams. 

I've fought God over this many years. I have dreams good dreams. God how can I accomplish these dreams like this?  How do I move on? Where do I go from here? This isn't the life I wanted!

 God said its not about you and what you want, you can help people right in the mess you are in. 

I remember this day because I was so fixated on the impossible problems surrounding my life that I couldn't see the solution, right in front of me. When we let go and let God move we begin to see a shift. A shift in our life, not a cure, but a shift. God likes to reveal His plan one day at a time and that is why I learned especially the last year, for us its overcoming one day at a time. Some days we cant plan a month out and this was hard for my A type personality years ago. I broke when I couldn't plan my life, when my life became consumed every single day by appointments and I had no control over my body,  I couldnt pick up my own kids, my dirty house, my wife, friend, mother duties, my finances, etc.

 Through the years the main points I've learned going through circumstances out of my control is that I had to ask God: to place the right people in my life because its important to have relationships, know that your strength only comes from God, even though you don't see an end in sight you can still grow where you are. Despite the things life has taken from you God will give you more than you can ever imagine if you let Him be your number one in your life. Speak out loud what you are believing for even when you don't see it! Write it down in a notebook and read it! On the days that the sun is not shining and life is making it hard to breathe remember its OK to take one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time and the right path will be revealed in time. Lastly, we are more than conquers and nothing and no one can take that away unless you let it!