We traveled to and from UVA again today. The day started with me spilling coffee all over myself, my sheets, my mattress, and even the dog.... it didnt get much better from there. The circumstances during the day were nothing but stressful and sorrow filled, but I choose to see the things God did do. He did protect us on the road when we should have gotten into multiple accidents. He did get us there on time for my appointment when I really dont know how because we were stuck in so much traffic. He did give me kind Drs and lab techs to be on my medical team. He did give my husband stamina to drive there and back with very little sleep and having to get up at 430am tomorrow. He did give me an amazing friend that made sure my kids were safe and fed when it was going to be longer than we had planned I was confident in their security. So even though, my heart is failing, my lungs are not able to breathe in right, my joint pain is at an all time high, and I can barely walk or sit up at times, and a long list of other serious complaints, Im thankful. Im thankful that despite so many harsh financial, medical, emotional, and spiritual battle after battle God shows Himself to me in the small moments. Hes in seeing the sun peaking through the clouds over the mountain top and giving a Dr just the right words to tell me He sees me. I saw my Dad who was moved to another facility covered in grossness but happy in his own mind. He thought he caught a mackrel, and to me Im happy that hes happy no matter that he doesnt have a clue whats going on. Even though I am very discouraged and tired because Im human, I feel confident in knowing God has a plan, and if I keep following Him and putting my faith in Him, that plan will reveal itself at just the right time. Thank you to those who continue to pray for miracles in my health, protection, provision, and strength for our family.
Forgiving
One of the most complex situations I have been navigating, especially the past few years, is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an immediate response in most, as truly deep offenses are a process to forgive. Forgiveness is an action that is so powerful it has the ability to break down fortress walls that people have built up to protect themselves, it's a force so strong it also influences everyone in the world around us. Forgiving someone is difficult, and sometimes it feels downright impossible. The impossible feeling comes when we don't get that apology. We don't get the acknowledgement that someone has detrimentally affected our life. I've had some of the most atrocious things happen to me by other people. Most never apologized. Each situation changed who I was, and it took a lot of work to get back to being ME. The me after each of these circumstances was forever changed, sometimes wiser, sometimes stronger, sometimes bitter. I'm not perfect. I wont sit here a...
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